Dear Lia…

Dear Lia, my precious angel,

You were the first to make all of my dreams come true. For so many years I wanted nothing more than a family of my own, and on December 1, 2018, I walked down the aisle with you in my tummy and married your daddy. I got a husband and a daughter in the same month! My heart was so full because I had everything I ever wanted.

Your grandparents jumped up and down screaming when they found out you existed. Your daddy was left speechless. He tears up every time we watch the video of when I told him. He says there was nothing that could have possibly made our wedding day any happier. And then we got to make a full trip around the globe as a family of three. We love you more than words can express.

For reasons far beyond my understanding, we couldn’t keep you. Your Nana thinks your Aunt Jilly needed you in Heaven. I don’t know what I believe but I very much hope she is right and that you two Jillians are together.

We call your sister the rainbow after the storm, but that doesn’t mean that you were the storm. Your short 3 month existence made me the happiest I had ever been in my life. You brought so much joy to everyone in our family and I wouldn’t take back a single moment with you. I only wish I could have carried you longer. YOU were not the storm, losing you was the storm, because we wanted to keep you so badly.

You are actually a rainbow baby yourself, sweet girl. You came to me two years after I lost your Aunt Jilly. You and your daddy coming into my life made me want to live again. A beloved life had been taken from our family, but then miraculously one had been given to us. Even though we couldn’t keep you, you were the light of hope during the darkest days of my life. You are a rainbow baby just like your sister, even though we refer to you as our angel.

You made me a mother, Lia, and I will spend the rest of my life loving you.

Your biggest fan,

Mama

A rainbow I saw with Daddy in Hawaii that I believe you sent to us from Heaven
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